An Elephant Sat On the Hood of My Car (Part 2)

An Elephant Sat On the Hood of My Car (Part 2)
It was close to 4 PM in the afternoon and typical of the
Los Angeles basin, traffic was already getting quite heavy
and so things were quite slow as we tried to make our way
up to Costa Mesa. We proceeded for about 5 miles before I
saw flashing red lights in the rear view mirror. I stopped
and tried to make way for the vehicle to pass but then
noticed he just pulled in behind me and opened his door.
The next thing I knew, he was accusing me of hit and run
and wasn't too interested in my story about an elephant
sitting on my hood. Another patrol car arrived and soon we
were guided to the nearest police station where they talked
to us further and then made a few calls to substantiate our
story before releasing us with their apology. For two
people that were not seasoned travelers, this was turning
out to be quite a day. We got directions back to the
Freeway, tried to call our friends but there was no answer
so we just left a message that we were again further
delayed but getting closer.

I was absolutely exhausted having had little sleep that
past two night and not handling, quite frankly, any of this
very well at all. I asked Jane if she wouldn't mind
driving the rest of the distance since at this time of day
it was still going to be a good 45 minutes to an hour in
traffic before we reached their place and I thought I would
take a short nap. I crawled into the back of the camper,
took off my pants and lay down to get some shut eye and I
was asleep in no time.

Jane had the instructions but it was getting later in the
day and with so much traffic and not being used to LA
driving, it was a bit stressful. She had rolled down both
windows to get some cool air flowing through the cab which
may have helped her to stay focused on the road but she was
not paying attention as the instructions went flying out
the window. She saw the signs that said "Costa Mesa" but
she could not remember the turnoff and when reached for the
piece of paper it wasn't there. She had only one choice
and that was to pull off the freeway and see if the
instructions were on the floor as she put in another call
to Janice. It took a minute or two to work her way to the
shoulder but she finally made it and came to a complete
stop turning off the engine just as Janice answered on the
other end of the line.

I was off into dream land when the camper came to a
complete stop and I could hear the engine being turned off.
Although it still sounded like traffic a bit outside, I
knew it was LA and traffic was supposedly everywhere. So
that did not hit me. What also did not hit me was that my
pants were on the floor of the camper. I got up, opened
the camper door and stepped outside to see where we were.
Just then, Jane, got her instructions from Janice, started
the engine back up and before I could react to anything she
was back on the freeway and on her way. There I stood in
my boxers, t-shirt and sheet-wrinkled face with no shoes
on. "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" is about all I could
say to myself as I embarrassingly looked around at the
rubber neck traffic.

It was only about 20 minutes later when I heard the siren
again approaching my position. Thank goodness it was the
same Highway Patrolman who couldn't help but believe my
story since I was the only idiot he had met in that whole
day. Fortunately for me, I had taken down the original
instructions and so I knew the turnoff and the address and
so the patrol man offered to drop me off in my boxers and
all as we both laughed about our crazy day.

Jane had found the turn-off but she turned left when she
should have turned right and so before she knew it, she was
about 4 miles out of the way. She knew Janice was not at
home yet so she called her cell and got new directions and
was soon back on track. In the meantime, I was dropped off
at Andy and Janice's home by the patrolman but now it was
starting to get somewhat dark outside. No one was home so
I sat on the front porch and waited. About 20 minutes
later, Jane drove by, noticed someone in boxer shorts
sitting on the front porch of her friend's house. Jane did
not stop but drove around the corner, and called Janice who
then called the police and you can just guess the rest of
the story.

We enjoyed the evening with our friends laughing our heads
off but that next morning we quickly packed the camper back
up, and headed back to Arizona never to see the California
coast again.

----------------------------------------------------
Jeff Gustafson is a media professional with iMpro, LLC. An
accomplished singer/songwriter as well as founder of
http://www.myhatt.com an international cultural awareness
concept and StrategyGolfCentral.

An Elephant Sat On the Hood of My Car (Part 1)

An Elephant Sat On the Hood of My Car (Part 1)
It was 1981 or 82 and we had decided to visit some friends
in Southern California. We weren't much for traveling in
those days. Not that we didn't enjoy it; we just didn't
really have the money and living in Phoenix during the
summer, driving 500-600 miles in 115 degree weather just
wasn't very appealing. But Janice and Andy had been
insisting that we visit since they were such good friends
of ours before they left our neighborhood due to his
company transfer. Jane and Janice, in fact, were attached
at the hip the 7 years they lived two houses down and the
kids played together virtually every available moment.

Jane convinced me that July this was the year to visit our
good friends. I made the arrangements for the time off
from work and we were western bound that last week of
August in our trusty camper. We took our time and drove
the southern route to San Diego stopping several times to
stretch our legs and walk a bit arriving in San Diego that
evening around 5 PM where we spent a couple of nights at a
very nice RV park near the water and enjoyed two days of
Sea World and the San Diego Zoo before heading up the
Freeway to the Mariner's home in Costa Mesa. The days were
warm but with a cool breeze and the nights were absolutely
delightful. Jane slept like a baby after walking both
parks for a solid 8 to 10 hours but I was up and down both
nights not being used to the coastal air.

Driving north on the fourth day between San Diego and Los
Angeles we noticed one of those drive-through animal parks
and Jane insisted that we check it out. It was quite
interesting with animals walking everywhere. You would
drive from one section to another waiting for each gate to
open to take you to another animal grouping. Many were
walking freely through the park with others just laying in
the sun or in the shade and you could stop and take
pictures and just take your good old time working your way
through the park. It was fascinating to watch the animals
in this environment as opposed to the previous day at the
zoo.

At each gate, there were clear warnings to keep your hands
inside the windows, keep them rolled up as animals came
close to the car and by all means do not honk your horn.
Unfortunately, there was a car of young adults slightly
ahead of us that were having quite a time trying to stir up
the pot with the large cats. You could see them taunting
the lions that were in the distance in hopes they would
come closer. They would call them, stick there arms and
heads out the door and wave their arms furiously to get the
animals attention. Fortunately, for the most part, the
animals paid little attention with just a slight lift of
the head, a short glance of disgust and then laying their
heads back down paying basically no never-mind.

But that did not hold true for Mr. Elephant. Although the
people were not trying to get his attention, he was the one
that had had enough of this nonsense. He gradually made
his way toward our cars but to our surprise the young
couples either saw him coming or got fed up them selves
with being ignored and took off just in time. But there we
were between the Elephant and the cars behind us. Not sure
what was about to happen we rolled up our windows and
watched as Mr. Elephant strolled to front of the camper,
slightly raised his trunk, gave a slide nod, then turned
and proceeded to sit on the front or our hood. "Oh my
goodness, what do we do now?" I could hear Jane speak. I
must admit I was at a complete loss. The big fella did not
over do it. He made his statement quite clear then stood
back up and moved on with absolutely no fan fare. A couple
of tons on my hood left quite an impression, if you know
what I mean.

At first I was most concerned about my radiator but once
outside of the park where we could stop there was no
indication of anything leaking. I pulled up to the office,
the people were very apologetic and both the park and
ourselves made a few calls to the insurance companies and
within an hour or so we were off and on our way to Andy and
Janice's.

As we pulled onto the San Diego freeway heading north, we
had not gone more than 3 miles and a car about 4 cars in
front of us got impatient and tried to switch lanes not
noticing the car next to them and before they knew it there
was a three car pile up that we just barely missed - two
cars and a camper. After seeing that everyone seemed to be
just fine, we noticed that cars were starting to drive onto
the shoulder to get around the crash site. We decided to
follow them since we were tired and running a bit late
after being held up at the park. What we did not notice
was that for some reason, the camper also left the scene of
the accident before any Highway Patrol arrived.

----------------------------------------------------
Jeff Gustafson is a media professional with iMpro, LLC. An
accomplished singer/songwriter as well as founder of
http://www.myhatt.com an international cultural awareness
concept and StrategyGolfCentral.